Annual Update

December 7, 2022 – I turn 55

Wow although this year feels like it kind of stood still, was fairly uneventful, and I didn’t have any big time adventures…I’m kind of glad it’s over and a new one starts today.

This year challenged me with wanting to get stronger – I didn’t drop any more numbers on the scale, but I did in pant size, inflammation levels, and A1c. I had set a goal of being able to walk up to the 219 highway and back without wanting to die. This is about a 5 mile hike mostly uphill (then sharply down.) I started the summer struggling to get a half mile up the winding road and back. I often took a nap after that kind of walk. Then covid hit me like a brick.

Covid wasn’t like most people I’ve heard of. I had finally asked for a little time off of the deli with the intent on going motorcycle camping. I didn’t lock in a location – and I guess the universe intended it to be that way. The first day of my freedom I had some business to take care of – like laundry and making a little extra money for a few days away…but dang if I wasn’t super tired and there was no mountain walking as an excuse. Within 24 hours of just not feeling right, I literally spent nearly three solid days asleep. I had actually gotten up, showered, fully dressed for riding with boots and all, ate lunch and had a wave of fatigue hit me like I’ve never experienced before. I went to bed and set an alarm for 30 minutes with the intent on riding. The backpack was at the door, the tent and gear loaded on the bike…just needed me to be awake enough to ride safely. Yeah…that was 11am and I woke up at 8:30pm, took off my boots, and gave up. I spent the next three days asleep and took the rest of the week off to make sure I didn’t give it to anyone else.

By day four I woke up to blisters in my mouth and all over my bottom lip. Clearly my immune system was fired up and now I had to face the challenge of getting it back into normal range. This sucks…while I’ve learned how to manage the blood sugar while on prednisone, I have not managed to learn how to control my anger issues while on high doses. I think the stress of NOT getting the tax free $38,000 in 2020 (which would have paid off every debt I think I have) because I kept doing an essential job while others enjoyed Netflix, buying crap from Amazon, and spending copious amounts of cash on lottery – it caught up with me at this point. I paid my rent and scraped by on a little over a part-time job and three years later…I am significantly angrier than ever, and prednisone disables all my verbal and emotional filters. Now I had to be off of everything that created cash flow for almost two weeks and it screwed the rest of the summer completely.

This absolutely has made me really think about where I’m at, where I want to be, and how I’m going to get there.

On August 22 I woke up and decided that I was going to walk to the top no matter what it did to me physically. I tied my Xero shoes tight, drank some water, walked out my door and kept walking to the top…and back. Oh hell…I even jogged a little on the way down. 4.53 miles (if I would have just gone to the other side of the bridge it would have been 5!) 12,705 steps, elevation range from 905ft to 1,445 feet and it took me a little over 2 hours. Here’s the crazy thing…I got home, drank some water, took a shower, and worked the rest of the day shopping for others. Yes, I slept well that night.

I freaking did it.

I FREAKING did it!

Now I had to start making some other big decisions and eventually the choice to stop working at the deli after 5.75 years came to be. I loved that job. Hell, it’s the longest I’ve ever stayed at one steady (non gig-type) job other than owing my own company ever. I cherished the customers, I enjoyed working for the owner – he kept a roof over my head through all the treatments and I helped keep his door open through the attack on all small businesses that other people call ‘the pandemic.’ It was just time to go.

Eric needed a bunch of work done at the farm and so I simply shifted gears to sitting on a tractor for hours on end in the complete peace of a vineyard. On the ride between where I live and the farm there is a little bakery/café. They put out a new sign one day that said Bubble Tea. I love bubble tea – and finally stopped. They were looking for a kitchen manager. I applied, even though I didn’t have short order cook experience they decided to give me a try. They bake all their bread & pies from scratch along with other things standard flour goes into. I knew I couldn’t eat it…what I didn’t know was that I can’t breath it either. Not only was I not a good short order cook – I just don’t have that skill, I was an itchy mess taking hot showers and swallowing allergy pills every night. That is not a good way to live. Even after leaving their employment I was scratching for weeks and finally went to my doctor – guess what I’m back on for a few more weeks…the miracle drug…prednisone.

I’ve learned a lot about this drug and how to manage a few more things – like I’m eating more potassium and protein this time. It helps balance out the puffy effects and gives my muscles what they need to not get fatigued. This all makes me contemplate what I really want year 55 to be about.

Dr. Christopher Palmer was being interviewed by Dr. Andrew Huberman for the Huberman Lab podcast and they were talking about Palmer’s new book Brain Energy. Over the years of conducting case study after case study with his private practice patients he has clinical proof that the Keto diet can dramatically put most mental health issues into remission. Dr. Huberman asked the question: “how is it that someone with schizophrenia can manage to stay on the super limiting Keto diet while so many people who don’t struggle with a mental challenge can’t?”

Palmer’s response was almost life changing to me. In essence he said: I’ve thought about this a lot and what it basically comes down to is they have too much to lose when they deviate from the diet and eat processed stuff. The voices come back, the manic thought patterns, the inability to work or function in a way acceptable to society stops…and they remember that two weeks ago they could. That isn’t true for a type 2 diabetic or someone who just wants to lose weight. Society doesn’t care if you take insulin to manage blood sugar or if you gain weight and need to buy new jeans – the reward of being able to eat pizza and wings at the bar with your friends while watching football just is more important overall. Thus for someone with schizophrenia they just have too much to loose – so they get determined.

BAM

I actually bought the book and am slowly reading through it – not because I’m trying to manage mental illness (although I really should work on my inner anger issues) but rather because he made a lot of other statements about metabolic health, thyroid issues, and some other statements about inflammation that made me curious to dive into what he’s proposing.

I’m not sure I’m going to try to honestly do the whole Keto thing – because most people know I’m not a big fan of anything that has become a marketed concept. BUT I did tell my doctor over a year ago when he was all excited about me dropping over 120 pounds that I wasn’t going to celebrate until I was metabolically healthy. I’m not there.

Others have told me I’m being too hard on myself – but I think that if I want to not just have ‘the best quality of life I possibly can, while allowing these autoimmune cells to just take over and ravage my body’ I have to think like a schizophrenic person and realize I have too much to lose if I don’t get serious about this.

While others in my age group are planning their retirements – I’m FINALLY planning a future!

I’m done putting my life on hold for other people who clearly haven’t appreciated that sacrifice (12 years in Wisconsin) which was a partial cause to this whole fiasco in the first place. I’m over pretending that my health is anyone else’s responsibility – including my doctors. And its time for me to create something I can rely on for the rest of my existence.

Unlike most people who feel a need for a traditional house as security or a large bank account…I don’t see the point. I never got married and have no kids, so who would that nonsense be for? I’m not like my uncle who left tens of thousands of dollars to charitable organizations, many of whom have leadership making more money per year than most research doctors. No…I need to go live and then grow clean food.

Between the trip I did in 2019 to Wyoming and back, in which I said…we have a food supply problem, and everyone I communicated that to, poo pooed me, and the biological warfare others call the pandemic, where my statements about a food supply problem came to fruition has made me very aware that we have a number of problems as a society.

Now…I’m not egotistical enough to believe I can make any kind of national or world wide impact, but dang it…I can make some kind of impact.

Food is an essential part of why I got as sick as I have been; it is a key component into getting healthier. There are other pieces like stress, sleep, financial stability, personal relationships, peace of mind, etc.

So the goals are:

Step 1: Write the book about what I’ve learned during this journey – maybe it can help even one person navigate the medical system better, the blood sugar issues better, the prednisone side effects better – freaking live better.

Step 2: Get my bus done. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to pass inspection and be road worthy to carry my motorcycle on an adventure of a lifetime. – Then I need to go.

Step 3: While on the road, research and write about how quality food (and currently not so quality food) gets to the supermarket – what the economic, human, and environmental impact of outsourcing our food supply to foreign countries has caused America and its citizens health as well as how it is now impacting the health and wellness of average humans around the world. I want to write a series of books for high school economics classes as well as a blog for general consumption. This stuff is crazy interesting to me – so there must be other people who might want to know what the cost of eating strawberries in February actually is.

Step 4: When that adventure comes to an end, I want to farm and teach other people how to cook and eat a whole foods lifestyle that has flavor, fun, and function without breaking the bank. While building a sustainable part of an agricultural business that provides me with what I need while also providing others with healthy affordable food.

That’s it.

Oh – one other big goal for year 55 – I want to accomplish a 20 mile hike in less than 8 hours.

I am looking forward to 55 being the best year yet.